Rejection Doesn’t Mean You’re Not Good Enough: A New Perspective

Tanosei
4 min readJun 27, 2023

Throughout our lives, we often face rejection, especially in today’s interconnected world where we interact with numerous people both online and offline.

Rejection often triggers a cascade of emotions including anger, sadness, hurt, ego, and even thoughts of revenge. It’s a part of human nature to desire acceptance and love, especially from those we admire and care about.

Yes, rejection is brutal and it hurts. It’s not just about romantic love or crushes, but about feeling respected and acknowledged as a human being.

So, why does rejection hurt so much?

If we trace back to our evolutionary history, we find that we are social beings who evolved to live in tribes. Being part of a group was crucial for survival. When we feel rejected, it’s as if we’ve been cast out from our tribe, triggering our survival instincts and making us feel as if we’ve been left to die. This is why the feeling of rejection is so powerful and why it still affects us today, even though our way of living has significantly changed over the years.

In the present day, rejection can leave us feeling down and off, a reminder of our deep-seated fear of being left out.

Getting rejected from the closest one hits deep.

When we experience rejection, it is not the hurt inflicted by just anyone that cuts the deepest, but rather the pain caused by those whom we are closest to.

It is uncommon to experience rejection from our closest friends, those whom we have shared cherished memories with. We all evolve and grow in our own phases, and often fail to match each other’s perspectives and thoughts.

But, there are instances where you form certain assumptions about people in your present day, and they end up rejecting you.

Before looking at others, the problem might be in us, as we often set unrealistic expectations and desires for them, leading to rejection. This can happen anywhere — in school, college, or the workplace. We might meet someone and instantly set unrealistic expectations due to the circumstances or environment.

For example:

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