We tend to think when there’s pain, there’s suffering and we can only be free from suffering if we eliminate pain.
However, pain and suffering are two fundamentally different things according to Buddhists.
“Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional,”
Pain and affliction are an inherent part of life. The greatest misfortune hardly affects some people, while the slightest inconvenience leads the other people into states of deep agony.
Buddhism tells us that suffering is part of living in the living world and comes in many different forms like sorrow, the fear of loss, and lamentation.
Most of us all experience these forms of suffering at some point in our lives no matter how much we try to avoid suffering. Perhaps, Buddha teaches us how can we end suffering.
Part of this process is the realization that the affliction by external forces is inevitable but that we can minimize further suffering.
How can we suffer less even though misfortune and adversity are part of life?
Eight Worldly Winds
According to Buddhism, if we think that we can escape the erratic and unpredictable movements of the universe, we don’t have a clear view of reality. Clarity thus, is where the path out of suffering starts; it’s seeing how things are, including the truth about the human condition, which is probably much bleaker than most people believe.
As a culture obsessed with safety and the prevention of hardship, we may be denying a fundamental truth that the Buddha presents to use: whatever we do, we cannot escape everything falling apart. This means that despite our efforts to protect ourselves and run from the things like aging, dying, disaster, and loss, we’ll incur these elements of existence nonetheless.
Buddhism refers to these inevitable changes and shifts in life as the “Eight Worldly Winds”
- Pleasure
- Pain
- Gain
- Loss
- Praise
- Blame
- Flame
- Disrepute
Most people lead their lives pursuing pleasure, gain, praise, and fame but avoiding the other side of the coin. But doing this makes us play-things of our environment, rather than masters over our mental well-being. Hence for most people, their inner tranquility depends on the whims of the universe.
“When gain, loss, status, disgrace, censure, praise, pleasure or pain arise for an ordinary person they do not reflect: “Gain (etc.) has arisen for me. It is inconstant and subject to change.” She(or he) does not discern it as it actually is. She welcomes the gain and rebels against the loss. She welcomes the status and rebels against the disgrace. She welcomes the praise and rebels against the censure. She welcomes the pleasure and rebels against the pain.”
The Buddha describes the human predicament; being trapped in the wheel of suffering, living our lives in constant pursuit of what we desire, and rebellion against what we’re repulsed by. This mechanism leads to despair, as we always fear losing what we have and encountering what we avoid.
In every pleasure lies the root of pain, which is that very pleasure going away, and the inability to recapture it.
- With gain always comes the possibility of loss.
- Praise can turn into blame,
- fame comes the risk of defamation.
Thus, the more we attach the desirable outside circumstances, the more prone we become to their undesirable opposites. The thing is all these changes of circumstances are fundamentally not in our control. Whatever comes our way, comes our way.
We get wounded, hurt, broken, lost in our circumstances.
But we often fool ourselves to think that we can avoid pain. Moreover, the pursuit of avoiding pain is painful itself; as we may minimize discomfort, we still suffer the fear of encountering it.
There’s a Buddhist parable that shows how we can deal with suffering skillfully.
Two Arrows
“In life, we can’t always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. The second arrow is optional.”
Imagine you’re walking in a forest, and suddenly you’re hit by an arrow. The first arrow represents the actual bad even, which can cause pain. But it isn’t over yet. There is a second arrow. The second arrow brings more pain and suffering. Can you avoid the second one? The second arrow represents our reaction to the bad event. It’s the manner in which we choose to respond emotionally.
Avoiding the Second Arrow
First, notice the first arrow. When you are in emotional pain, allow yourself to feel it. You may notice your arrows in other ways, like frustration, irritation, and emotional or physical pain. Next, become aware and notice your emotional reaction. Maybe it is a desire to yell or complain to someone. Maybe you get angry with yourself and turn your emotions inward, feeling like you aren’t good enough or that there is something wrong with you. This is the second arrow. Catch yourself adding more pain and suffering.
We probably find ourselves dealing with the second arrow of suffering many times during the day. The story is not about denying our initial reaction but having a choice of how to proceed. Over time, being aware of this choice, and refraining from shooting endless second arrows at ourselves, can help free us of much unnecessary suffering.
In other words: when you’re hit by the first arrow.
You can pull this arrow out and avoid the second one by accepting the situation and moving on. But you can also linger, let the second arrow hit you, and suffer way beyond just losing your job. By rebelling against the Eight Wordly Winds, by being outraged, depressed, and beating ourselves up, we make an unpleasant situation much worse than it already is.
Anxiety comes and goes, which is the first arrow. But when we resist it, the anxiety increases which, in turn, we try to fight as well, and so forth which is the second arrow.
Sailing the worldly winds
Buddhism acknowledges the existence of suffering but at the same time, offers a way to escape it.
The antidote for suffering comes with following the Eightfold Path, which is considered the road to freedom of suffering: a state known as enlightenment.
Awareness
Between the first arrow and the second arrow, there’s space. Within the space, we can decide what we do. Do we choose to let the second arrow hit us, or do we choose to avoid it?
To avoid it, we must be aware that we have a choice. So it starts with awareness; the awareness that the first arrow is inevitable, but the second one is optional.
Emotions like anger, resentment, and discursive mental activities like excessive rumination and worry are all manifestations of the second arrow: they’re not the unfortunate event itself (i.e the first arrow) but its consequences.
Whenever we catch ourselves upset over something, we can make an effort to let go of these thoughts and emotions.
If we know this, we can shift the focus from the first to the second arrow, which we can do something about.
In Buddhism, meditation and mindfulness are the keys to this awareness.
We can only avoid the second arrow if we learn to see it coming.
Not Clinging to an Illusion
Clinging to pleasant circumstances is a bad idea, as we’re grasping for water; as soon as we think we have it, it has already slipped through our fingers. If we demand the world to stay the same, we cling to an illusion, and we’ll be disappointed when the truth confronts us.
This doesn’t mean that we can’t enjoy life. We can as long as we see its transient nature as part of the bargain.
The world is afflected by death and decay. But the wise do not grieve, having realized the nature of the world.
When good times are fleeting and bad times are inevitable, why do we torture ourselves by clinging to the former and running from the latter?
Why can’t we just accept that what we enjoy at the moment will soon disappear? And that no matter where we hide and how far we run, misfortune will get us no matter what?
Instead of grasping or fighting the worldly winds, wouldn’t it be better if we move along with them skillfully?
Well-trained sailors can keep their boats afloat even in the most aggressive, unpredictable weather conditions.
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